Quotes from book
I Shudder

I Shudder
Paul Rudnick

I Shudder: And Other Reactions to Life, Death, and New Jersey is a 2009 collection of comedic essays written by Paul Rudnick.

“There was a cable-TV program that documented how Peeps are made, and it showed unlimited hordes of Peeps bouncing merrily down a conveyor belt, right toward the camera. I came.”

Paul Rudnick book I Shudder

Source: I Shudder (2009), p. 106

“And so I continue in borderline poverty, save for my one indulgence, no, my single absolute necessity: I take cabs. Yes, on occasion, when I wish to see what people with unpleasant skin conditions are wearing, I do take the subway. I have never, I am proud to say, taken the bus, because people who take the bus have given up.”

Paul Rudnick book I Shudder

Source: I Shudder (2009), p. 188

“Whenever I stumble over my own feet, or blurt out a thought that makes no sense at all, or leave the house wearing one pattern too many, I always think, It's okay, I'm from New Jersey. I love New Jersey, because it's not just an all-purpose punch line, but probably a handy legal defense, as in, “Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey.””

Paul Rudnick book I Shudder

Source: I Shudder (2009), p. 211

“I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks.”

Paul Rudnick book I Shudder

Source: I Shudder (2009), p. 51

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