“There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "yes" you know he is a crook.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
Recommended quotes page 25
“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
“I don't have a photograph. I'd give you my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
When asked for a photograph for identification
The Groucho Phile (1976)
“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
“Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
“Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
As quoted in The Groucho Letters (1967) by Arthur Sheekman. The sentiment predates Marx by 61 years, however; it likely originated with John Galsworthy in The Forsyte Saga. In Part I, Chapter II, "Old Jolyon Goes to the Opera" http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/2559, it's said of Old Jolyon that, "He naturally despised the Club that did take him." after another refused him because he was in a trade. <br class="br">Variant: I sent the club a wire stating: «Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member». <br class="br">Source: Groucho and Me
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
To S J Perelman about his book Dawn Ginsbergh’s Revenge (1929), as quoted in LIFE (9 February 1962)
“Marriage is a wonderful institution… but who wants to live in an institution?”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
Apparently attributed to Marx in Bennett Cerf's Try and Stop Me, first published in 1944. A citation of this can been seen in the Kentucky New Era on November 9, 1964 http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=X-orAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZWcFAAAAIBAJ&pg=4581,3323702&dq=art-of-looking-for-trouble&hl=en. Also attributed to Marx by Rand Paul in "The Long Stand," ch. 1 of Taking a Stand: Moving Beyond Partisan Politics to Unite America (New York, N. Y.: Center Street, 26 May 2015), p. 5. <br class="br">The original quotation belongs to Sir Ernest Benn (Henry Powell Spring, What is Truth?, Orange Press, 1944, p. 31 https://books.google.com/books?id=snxbAAAAMAAJ&q=Ernest+benn+%22Politics+is+the+art+of%22&dq=Ernest+benn+%22Politics+is+the+art+of%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCMQ6AEwAjgUahUKEwiK3Zm-qojIAhWGVZIKHdFYBqY); a first known citation reportedly appears in the Springfield (MA) Republican on July 27, 1930. <br class="br">Misattributed <br class="br">Variant: Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. <br class="br">Source: Gyles Brandreth, Word Play: A cornucopia of puns, anagrams and other contortions and curiosities of the English language, Coronet, 2015.
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
Quote by Leo Rosten in The Many Worlds of Leo Rosten http://books.google.com/books?id=8FkwAAAAIAAJ&q=%22i+never+forget+a+face+but+in+your+case+i'll+be+glad+to+make+an+exception%22&pg=PA17#v=onepage (1964)
Groucho Marx (1890–1977) American comedian
As quoted in Halliwell’s Filmgoer’s Companion (1984) by Leslie Halliwell
Variant: I find TV very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.