“Bitten? You mean you're a-"
"A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.”

“Only an asshole would put together a budget like this. I wouldn't call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole.”

“(On airplane etiquette) Although reclining your seat is technically your right, just like free speech if you exercise it to your limits everyone around you will think you're an asshole.”

“Remember how, back in 1990, if you used a cellphone in public you looked like a total asshole? We're all assholes now.”

“Anybody can be a pendejo, said John Grady. That just means asshole.”

“Dark Helmet [after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is "Asshole."]: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.”

“Everyone has a right to be a little happy, asshole.”

“Podex perfectus es.
Claim it means: You did a terrific job.
What it really means: You are a total asshole.”

“My mother came to a Smashing Pumpkins gig once, and I was wearing a dress. She was very upset. She said, 'Everyone's gonna think you're a fag.' I said,'Well, they already think I'm an asshole.”

“So are there any asshole guys here I can start dating?' she says. 'That's, like, my pattern.”