“I'd scale that monster sycamore if I could. Right to the top. And I'd yell her name across the rooftops for the whole world to hear.

-Bryce”

“If I could remember the names of all these particles, I'd be a botanist.”

“If I were running my business, I'd fire Rosie, I mean, I'd look her right in that fat ugly face of hers and say, "Rosie, you're fired."”

“Right now I would take homeopaths and I'd put them in a big sack with psychics, astrologers and priests. And I'd close the top of the sack with string, and I'd hit them all with sticks. And I really wouldn't worry who got the worst of the belting with the sticks.”

“Harry Dresden: Maybe it wasn't anything I'd done. Maybe the monsters had gone on strike. Yeah right.”

“I'd tell you all you want and more, if the sounds I made could be what you hear”

“If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional Cinderella.”

“I'd shut the whole world down just to tell you”

“I told her the world was full of nice people. I'd have hated to try to prove it to her, but I said it, anyway.”

“… As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.”