“We're just not cut out for all this media circus crap.
But then, you already knew that.”

“My recollection is that most of the crap coming out of the trial via the media had Meyer condemned even before the trial was over.”

“You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”

“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking… a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards.”

“All I knew was that I would die if he sent me away. He shrugged. You can cut a man’s heart out with a shrug, did you know that?”

“Body or mind, heart or soul, we're all human, and we're supposed to feel pain. You cut yourself off from it at your own risk.”

“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"

"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.”

“Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.”

“Many of you are well enough off that… the tax cuts may have helped you… We're saying that for America to get back on track, we're probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

“Tell me, did you summon me just so you could beat the crap out of me? Or is there a more productive reason for why I’m here? (Eros)”