“Being sorry won't get you into heaven. Get happy, son. Get that old spring into your step and stay on your toes.”

“Get up,
Get on up.
Stay on the scene.
Get on up,
Like a Sex Machine.
Get on up,
Get up.
Shake your arm,
Then use your form.
Stay on the scene, like a Sex Machine.
You gotta have the feeling,
Sure as you're born.”

“That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays.”

“So, come all you young men. with your wicked, wicked ways. Sow your wild oats in your younger days. So that we may be happy when we grow old. Yes! happy and happy when we grow old. For the day's getting on and the night's getting long. Darling please gimme your arm and we'll joggle along, yes, we'll joggle and joggle and joggle along.”

“To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in, you may never get over it as long as you live.”

“I guess forgiveness, like happiness, isn’t a final destination. You don’t one day get there and get to stay.”

“True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one's self; but the point is not only to get out — you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand.”

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way.”

“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”

“You ask women, “You know how painful is it? What are talking about here?” And you don’t get an answer, you get anger… and it always starts with the melon…“IMAGINE A MELON!… COMING THROUGH YOUR FACE!… fuckin' stay there, I’ll get a melon!””