“The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel's deformed mutant brother.”

“You know the man who told me about it on the bus,
as it went up the hill out of Scranton, Pennsylvania,
he shrugged his shoulders, he shook his head,
and he said (and this is exactly what he said)
"Boy that sure must've been something.
Just imagine thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Yes, there were thirty thousand pounds of mashed bananas.
Of bananas. Just bananas. Thirty thousand pounds.
of Bananas—not no driver now. Just bananas!"”

“Larry's zombie bag was a nearly virulent green with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it. I was almost afraid to ask what his vampire bag looked like.”

“He could not stand. It was not
That he could not thrive, he was born
With everything but the will –
That can be deformed, just like a limb.
Death was more interesting to him.
Life could not get his attention.”

“I catch him when he's strayin' like any brother would.
Man turns his back on his family well he just ain't no good.”

“The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying a moon on his pitchfork?"
"No, it's a pie.”

“Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire.”

“He was just a lieutenant of the line, a small cog in an immense machine. Besides, all that really mattered to him was doing his job and survivng.”

“Man - a figment of God's imagination.”

“Equilibrium is a figment of the human imagination.”