“Has anyone seen Church? I think Zachariah just stole our cat. I swear I saw him putting Church in the backseat of a car.”

Isabelle Lightwood, pg. 715
Source: The Mortal Instruments, City of Heavenly Fire (2014)

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Cassandra Clare 2041
American author 1973

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“Did Brother Zachariah just steal our cat?”

Source: City of Heavenly Fire

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“I've never known anyone who has fallen into sin and been successfully restored by the formal church structure. Nor have I ever seen a formal church structure wisely deal with sin, enabling ministry to continue without interruption.”

Ted Haggard (1956) American minister

[Haggard, Ted, The Life Giving Church, Regal Books, Expanded edition (May 2001), p. 111, ISBN 0830726594]

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“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

Garrison Keillor (1942) American radio host and writer

Though Keillor has been quoted on the internet and in print as having made this or a similar remark, such expressions have been made by others, and may have originated with Billy Sunday, who is quoted as having said "Going to church on Sunday does not make you a Christian any more than going into a garage makes you an automobile!" in Press, Radio, Television, Periodicals, Public Relations, and Advertising, As Seen through Institutes and Special Occasions of the Henry W. Grady School of Journalism (1967) edited by John Eldridge Drewry.
Disputed
Variant: Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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“The Church says that the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow of the earth on the moon and I have more faith in the Shadow than in the Church.”

Ferdinand Magellan (1480–1521) Portuguese explorer

This quotation is often found on the internet attributed to Magellan, but never with a source, and no English occurrence prior to its use by Robert Green Ingersoll in his essay "Individuality" http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/robert_ingersoll/individuality.html (1873) has been located. Thus, it it most likely spurious. In that essay Ingersoll states:
It is a blessed thing that in every age some one has had individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions, — some one who had the grandeur to say his say. I believe it was Magellan who said, "The church says the earth is flat; but I have seen its shadow on the moon, and I have more confidence even in a shadow than in the church." On the prow of his ship were disobedience, defiance, scorn, and success.
Disputed
Variant: The Church says that the Earth is Flat, but I know that it is Round. For I have seen its Shadow on the Moon and I have more Faith in a Shadow than in the Church.
Source: As quoted in Oxford Academic (25 July 2013) http://oupacademic.tumblr.com/post/56463634957/misquotation-i-have-seen-the-shadow-of-the-earth

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“I respect churches because of the sacredness that's been put on them over the years by people who do believe. But I think a lot of bad things have happened in the name of the church and in the name of Christ.”

John Lennon (1940–1980) English singer and songwriter

Source: The Beatles Anthology (2000), p. 226
Context: I don't need to go to church. I respect churches because of the sacredness that's been put on them over the years by people who do believe. But I think a lot of bad things have happened in the name of the church and in the name of Christ. Therefore I shy away from church, and as Donovan once said, "I go to my own church in my own temple once a day." And I think people who need a church should go. And the others who know the church is in your own head should visit that temple because that's where the source is. We're all God. Christ said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you." And the Indians say that and the Zen people say that. We're all God. I'm not a god or the God, but we're all God and we're all potentially divine — and potentially evil. We all have everything within us and the Kingdom of Heaven is nigh and within us, and if you look hard enough you'll see it.

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