“Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.”

“Ginger: Oh, jeez. Well, uh… maybe you should talk to someone.Cynthia: I thought I was.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention it: My brother is the kind of man whom women stalk. In cooperative packs.”

“You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least.”

“Some of my friends have urged me to tell people the basic story, but "for God’s sake don’t mention the reptiles."”

“So I fancy my Muse says, when I wish to die,
Oh no, Oh no, we are not yet friends enough,
And Virtue also says:
We are not yet friends enough.”

“Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”
“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”
“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.”

“My best friend was at the grocery store standing behind these two guys in line, and one of the guys told the other that I was a man. He said, 'If you look closely, you can tell that she is,' and the other guy was like, 'Oh, my God! Now that you mention it, she is a man!”

“I rarely get mentioned in the same category as these other guys who have come out after me…[b]ut maybe I’m not that, maybe I’m not an Internet rapper.”

“Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind”