“My wife, ladies and gentlemen. Beauty, brains, and now brawn.”

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4u2ZsoYWwJA

"Dear God," said Larry, "who thought of those names?" "Theodore" "They wanted to call it something much more....complex, but Margo couldn't be trusted to pronounce them properly" "One must be thankful for small mercies"
The Garden of the Gods (1978)

October 12, 1977, reporting a school fire (initially mistaken as a tenement fire), while announcing Game 2 of the 1977 World Series. This comment, while widely attributed to Cosell, was never made.[citation needed]
Incorrectly Attributed

Lange described the call: "I went into a place to try and get something to eat and the lady very distinctly said to me, 'The kitchen is closed!' I said, 'Wow. There's the end, that's it, you can't eat any more, you haven't got a prayer.' I said, 'That's finality, baby!'"
"Eddie Spaghetti! The Story Behind Mike Lange-isms"

At the 1964 Republican National Convention, arrested for refusing to cede his spot on the floor to "Goldwater Girls," supporters of the Republican presidential candidate, Barry Goldwater. When security came to get him, he was forced to sign off.

Source: Lost Love Found

The 78th Academy Awards (2006)

Opening words to a commencement address supposedly given by Vonnegut at M.I.T., but actually based on Mary Schmich's June 1, 1997 column for the Chicago Tribune
Misattributed