“Was that you or the duck?”

“If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck!”

“Death strode away, stopped, and came back. He pointed a skeletal finger at The Duck Man.
WHY, he said, ARE YOU WALKING AROUND WITH THAT DUCK?
"What duck?"
AH. SORRY.”

“When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck. ”

“Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers?
Mrs. Ling: Could be…. You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.”

“The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck.”

“I shall never eat duck again. I cannot believe I used to like duck. The duck betrayed me.”

“I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. Ducks love bread, but they can't buy any. That's the biggest joke on the duck ever. (in addition to and along with this duck line- a bit from the Letterman show)”

“Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?"

"They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.”

“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”