“An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.”

“Make them laugh, make them cry, and back to laughter. What do people go to the theater for? An emotional exercise. And no preachment.”

“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”

“Make 'em laugh; make 'em cry; make 'em wait.”

“Our Poets make us laugh at Tragœdy,
And with their Comoedies they make us cry.”

“People are mostly layers of violence and tenderness wrapped like bulbs, and it is difficult to say what makes them onions or hyacinths.”

“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

“It has never been man’s gift to make wildernesses. But he can make deserts, and has.”

“Music bypasses the intellect, it makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you want to dance, makes you want to have sex.”

“People never like me and I never like people," she thought. "And I never can talk as the Crawford children could. They were always talking and laughing and making noises.”