“Facts in Prose
When someone we love no longer desires us.
We become emotionally damaged.
Were consumed with torment every day.
Within long-term relationships the lack of desire is commonplace.
Women lose desire for their partner sooner than men.
When your partner avoids or rejects kissing, their love has passed.
Collect your pieces and move on.”

1987

Last update June 3, 2021. History

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“If we associate love with losing ourselves, in relationships we will become avoidant and push our partners away.”

Teal Swan (1984) American spiritual teacher

“The way things used to be
not so long ago
when we were young and free.
The way things used to be
not so long ago
you were loving me
every night and every day, strong in every way
passion glowing like a fire, burning with desire.
Whatever happened?”

Gilbert O'Sullivan (1946) Irish singer-songwriter

"The Way Things Used To Be" (song) <br class="br">Gilbert O'Sullivan, "The Way Things Used To Be" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq_p37g6xRU (song on YouTube) <br class="br">Song lyrics

“To lose the thing we love is greater pain
Than to desire and never to obtain.”

Francesco Berni (1497–1535) Italian poet

Che lasciar quel che s'ama, e peggio assai
Che disiarlo, e non averlo mai.
XVII, 6
Rifacimento of Orlando Innamorato

“For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips.”

John Boyle O'Reilly (1844–1890) Irish-born poet and novelist

A White Rose, lines 7-8, in In Bohemia (1886), p. 24.

“Ultimately, it is the desire, not the desired, that we love.”

Friedrich Nietzsche book Beyond Good and Evil

Variant: One loves ultimately one's desires, not the thing desired.
Source: Beyond Good and Evil

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No … don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? But it is!”

Louis De Bernières (1954) English novelist

Source: Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

“My will and my desire were turned by love, the love that moves the sun and the other stars.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Fallen Angels

Source: City of Fallen Angels

“The best way to use these lists to replace anger with love in real life is to nurture each other by doing for your partner what your partner normally does for you.”

Warren Farrell (1943) author, spokesperson, expert witness, political candidate

Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say (2000)

“At the end of what is called the "sexual life" the only love which has lasted is the love which has everything, every disappointment, every failure and every betrayal, which has accepted even the sad fact that in the end there is no desire so deep as the simple desire for companionship.”

Graham Greene book May We Borrow Your Husband?

May We Borrow Your Husband? (1967)
Short Stories

“Follow your desire as long as you live and do not perform more than is ordered; do not lessen the time of following desire, for the wasting of time is an abomination to the spirit… When riches are gained, follow desire, for riches will not profit if one is sluggish.”

Ptahhotep Ancient Egyptian vizier

Maxim no. 11.
The Maxims of Ptahhotep (c. 2350 BCE)

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