“After I eat asparagus…”

“Have you ever seen Spode eat asparagus?'
'No.'
'Revolting. It alters one's whole conception of Man as Nature's last word.”

“Eggs and asparagus are helpful as far as diet is concerned. I am obviously not suggesting a whole diet of eggs and asparagus. These plus fish oils are beneficial, however, but not when taken with acid foods.”

“It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is "soporific." I have never felt sleepy after eating lettuces; but then I am not a rabbit.”

“Bradbury Fisher shuddered from head to foot, and his legs wobbled like asparagus stalks.”

“I am come to a tavern alone to eat a steak, after which I shall return to the office.”

“If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it?”

“After I shut the door behind me, I heard Darryl say "of course eating him would work too.”

“Warning: Do not read this story right after eating. In fact, don't read it right before eating either. In fact, just to be safe, don't read this story if you're ever planning to eat again.”

“Men shake hands after they beat each other up; we eat chocolate.”