“I wish them a long and happy life. If it's as long as their wedding, I'm sure they'll be fine.”

“I'm always OK. As long as I'm black, I'm fine.”

“If I'm good enough to bed, surely I'm good enough to wed.”

“I'm fine with Nature's way, as long as Nature keeps it out of *my* way.”

“I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom.”

“Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own…”

“[About homophobes] As long as they're homophobic behind closed doors, and don't hurt anyone, I'm fine with it.”

“We've sure come a long way since then. Sometimes I wish we hadn't. I hate H-bombs and the Jerry Springer show.”

“I suppose now I'm obliged to wish you happiness in your new life. Although happiness in the absence of indoor plumbing is a debatable concept.”

“I'm not often bored,' I assured her. "Life's not long enough for that.”