“How do you give a woman an orgasm? Who cares!”

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor.”

“Opinions are like orgasms… mine matters most and I really don’t care if you have one.”

“Seen through the glow of a building orgasm, a woman seems to blaze with angelic glory.”

“Give me a man or woman who has read a thousand books and you give me an interesting companion. Give me a man or woman who has read perhaps three and you give me a dangerous enemy indeed.”

“A happy woman is one who has no cares at all; a cheerful woman is one who has cares but doesn't let them get her down.”

“If you're a woman who doesn't know how to write, you're going to cry every night. But if you do, no problem.”

“How would you like to have a father who keeps getting younger looking every year? Do you realize what that can do to a woman?”

“How can you argue with a woman who won't?”

“Take care of those who give you the smile, not those who take it away from you.”