“The dog now slept, occasionally farting very gently.”

“My mom went to that same doctor and got a butt lift. It's a little too lifted, I think, alright. Now every time she farts only dogs can hear it.”

“There is very little thanks in history. Dog eat dog.”

“I like dogs
Big dogs
Little dogs
Fat dogs
Doggy dogs
Old dogs
Puppy dogs
I like dogs
A dog that is barking over the hill
A dog that is dreaming very still
A dog that is running wherever he will
I like dogs.”

“If dogs talked, one of them would be president by now. Everybody likes dogs.”

“dogs and angels are not
very far apart”

“Dogs, now they're the real arse bandits!”

“Dogs, like very small children, are quite mad.”

“This [article] doesn't mean that I actually want to be Lara Croft. In writing this I'm not admitting that I occasionally dress up in a tight top and khaki hotpants and prance around pointing two hairdryers at my dog. In this little article I am pointing out why, if you happen to be Lara Croft, that you should be very pleased with yourself.”

“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.”