“But let me ask you this though, first and foremost: who's your favorite Spice Girl? Mine is Sporty Spice and I'll tell you why. You know what? She might not be as aesthetically pleasant as the rest but she'll do a backflip and steal your heart.”

— Janeane Garofalo

self-titled TV comedy special, 1997
Standup routines

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Janeane Garofalo 31

comedian, actress, political activist, writer 1964

Erma Bombeck (1927–1996) When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent le…

“Girl, tell me only this:
That I'll have your heart for always.
And you want me by your side,
Whispering the words "I'll always love you."”

Lionel Richie (1949) American singer-songwriter, musician, record producer and actor

Truly.
Song lyrics, Lionel Richie (1982)

“You better beware, my friends all told me
When they saw that I was falling for you.
You better beware they told me that girl ain't gonna be true.
She'll have you walking with your head in the air,
Have you thinking that she really, really care.
Then-a, then she'll let you down, she'll really let you down.
She's a girl with no understanding.
And when she's getting tired of you hanging around,
She'll let you drop and say… have a happy landing”

Smokey Robinson (1940) American R&B singer-songwriter and record producer

happy landing
Happy Landing, written by Smokey Robinson and Ronald White (1962)
Song lyrics, With The Miracles

“I can't tell them what to do!"
"Why not?" the other girl demanded. "Honestly, Clary, if you don't start utilizing a bit of your natural feminine superiority, I just don't know what I'll do with you.”

Cassandra Clare book City of Ashes

Source: City of Ashes

“You ask for her secret, though you might not know that's what you're about; and she can't tell you without learning it herself. And she wants not to learn that secret.”

John Crowley book Engine Summer

Engine Summer (1979), chapter 3.2

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007) American writer

Originates in a 2007 blog post by Iain S. Thomas entitled The Fur http://www.iwrotethisforyou.me/2007/08/fur.html
Misattributed

“If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I'll tell you what you are.”

Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People

Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People

“Who are you if you lose your favorite person? Can you lose your favorite person without losing yourself? I reach for Stargirl and she's gone. I'm not me anymore.”

Jerry Spinelli book Love, Stargirl

Source: Love, Stargirl

“Bees do have a smell, you know, and if they don't they should, for their feet are dusted with spices from a million flowers.”

Ray Bradbury book Dandelion Wine

Source: Dandelion Wine

“Dullness is the spice of life. Which is why we must always use other spices.”

David Levithan (1972) American author and editor

Source: Dash & Lily's Book of Dares

“But let me ask you this though, first and foremost: who's your favorite Spice Girl? Mine is Sporty Spice and I'll tell you why. You know what? She might not be as aesthetically pleasant as the rest but she'll do a backflip and steal your heart.”

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