“Dogs, now they're the real arse bandits!”

“What do dogs do? Sniff each other's arse. They don't knock about going "Let's try a chatup line."”

“Polly: Question is whether you hate the coach party because they're like the dogs or hate the dogs because they're like the coach party.”

“If you're treated a certain way you become a certain kind of person. If certain things are described to you as being real they're real for you whether they're real or not.”

“When most of us talk to our dogs, we tend to forget that they're not people.”

“I like a bit of a mongrel myself, whether it's a man or a dog; they're the best for every day.”

“If dogs talked, one of them would be president by now. Everybody likes dogs.”

“Real people scare. Then, if they're smart, they're the worst nightmare for anyone using a script to get around.”

“In the beginning was the dog
the real name of Jehovah is Rover
Adam's rib is buried in the garden”

“I know the progressives are using progressive tactics. They're not using Nazi tactics. They're— they're— they're— The real answer is the Nazis were using early American progressive tactics. And that's not my opinion, that's historic fact.”