“Forgive my pants for remaining unshitten.”
Discussing Twilight in The Guardian 12 July 2010. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/12/charlie-booker-twilights-unscary-monsters
Guardian columns
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Charlie Brooker 58
journalist, broadcaster and writer from England 1971Related quotes

“I’m taking off my shoes.’’
‘‘Fine. Shoes off.’’
‘‘And my pants.’’
‘‘Don’t push it, Claire.”
Source: Feast of Fools

“I have my big-boy pants on right now. I'm trying not to cry!”
Interview Quotes, 68th Golden Globes Speech (2011)

Source: My Double Life (1907), Ch. 33 <!-- p. 369 -->
Context: Life is short, even for those who live a long time, and we must live for the few who know and appreciate us, who judge and absolve us, and for whom we have the same affection and indulgence. The rest I look upon as a mere crowd, lively or sad, loyal or corrupt, from whom there is nothing to be expected but fleeting emotions, either pleasant or unpleasant, which leave no trace behind them. We ought to hate very rarely, as it is too fatiguing; remain indifferent to a great deal, forgive often and never forget.

“Four: If you try to force yourself into my head, I will force myself into your pants.”
Source: Dreamfever
“If I had bodily functions, I think I would have peed my pants.”
Source: The Darkest Night

“The new park sure holds the heat. The heat took the press right out of my pants.”
On Busch Memorial Stadium, site of the 1966 MLB All-Star Game; as quoted in "Frank Doesn't Miss NL Pitching" by Neal Russo, in The St. Louis Post-Dispatch (July 13, 1966), p. 4C

“My podium is a little narrow, but I guess that's okay since I remembered to wear pants.”
"What's So Great About God?: Atheism vs Religion" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJvoFbA0qcs&feature=youtu.be&t=12m33s — Dinesh D'Souza and Christopher Hitchens debate at Macky Auditorium, CU Boulder (26 January 2009)
Debates
"The Need to Be Naked", from Naked (2002).