“Since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else,'cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt.”

“Vivian, I'd like to give you my heart, but since that might be inconvenient I've brought you someone else's."

"Rafe you jerk, this is a sheep's heart.”

“Now I'm 'Blake Lewis' to the world, but I will always still be Bshorty from Bothell…I've never looked at it like a competition so I think I've won regardless. I won when I got to the top ten; I've already reached my goal.”

“My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.”

“Animal products have no place in a healthy diet. As a champion boxer, I need to keep my body in top physical shape. Since I've stopped eating meat, I'm stronger, faster, and… happier! My whole life is better.”

“In the end, everyone loses everyone. There was no invention to get around that, and so I felt, that night, like the turtle that everything else in the universe was on top of.”

“It's not common, in our age, for someone to retire while still at the top, but I'm a man who needs a goal, and who wants to make a difference.”

“If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all.”

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”

“It seems to me that since I've had children, I've grown richer and deeper. They may have slowed down my writing for a while, but when I did write, I had more of a self to speak from.”