“I was in a bar a few nights ago, moving from stool to stool, trying to get lucky… But there was no gum under any of them. And I hear giggling behind me. At first I don't mind, but the giggling continues… Finally, I thought "What's so amusing?" I turn around, and these two guys, for the last, oh, half hour or so, have been throwing darts into my head. It's a good thing I heard them! I said, "Look, you bums," 'cause I was angry now, "As soon as this game is over, hit the road!"”

— Emo Philips

But as I left that bar, one thing stuck in my mind...
E=MO² (1985)

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Emo Philips 33

American comedian 1956

Mitch Hedberg (1968–2005) American stand-up comedian

Strategic Grill Locations

“As soon as I hit it, I knew it was gone. I was happy to move on. It was great. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks just to get it done. It finally came, and I'm happy. I'm proud of myself and all the things that I accomplished. So now I can go and have fun.”

Manny Ramirez (1972) Dominican-American baseball player

In Ian Browne, "Manny cements his place in history"
Attributed
Source: Manny cements his place in history, MLB.com, June 1, 2008, 2008-11-20 http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080531&content_id=2810427&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb,

“I have left off crying, and giggling as well. Now make up your mind. I don't care anything for all this talk. You told me what your price for the job was and I have come up with it. Here is the money. I aim to get Tom Chaney and if you are not game I will find somebody who is game. All I have heard out of you so far is talk. I know you can drink whiskey and I have seen you kill a gray rat. All the rest has been talk. They told me you had grit and that is why I came to you. I am not paying for talk. I can get all the talk I need and more at the Monarch boardinghouse.”

Charles Portis book True Grit

Source: True Grit (1968), Chapter 5, pp. 82-83 : 'Mattie Ross' to 'Rooster Cogburn'

“About five years ago, somebody showed me some web sites that had my material all over them, and I thought that was fascinating. One reason was, I'd never seen my jokes written one right after another like that. I write on drawing paper—I don't even like lines on the paper—so I have notebooks all over the place with handwritten pieces of my act in them. So to see it go by, all typed out neatly, was like, "Wow." And then two or three years ago, someone showed me a site, and half of it that said I wrote it, I didn't write. Recently, I saw one, and I didn't write any of it. What's disturbing is that with a few of these jokes, I wish I had thought of them. A giant amount of them, I'm embarrassed that people think I thought of them, because some are really bad.”

Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author

Interviews

“They found me in the gutter. The night was the only thing I had left and not much of it at that. I heard the car stop, the doors open and shut and two voices talking. A pair of arms jerked me to my feet and held me there.
"Drunk," the cop said.
The other one turned me around into the light. "He don't smell bad. That cut on his head didn't come from a fall either."
"Mugged?"
"Maybe."
I didn't give a damn which way they called it. They were both wrong anyhow. Two hours ago I was drunk. Not now. Two hours ago I was a roaring lion. Then the bottle sailed across the room. No lion left now.
Now was a time when I wasn't anything. Nothing was left inside except the feeling a ship must have when it's torpedoed, sinks and hits bottom.”

Mickey Spillane book The Girl Hunters

The Girl Hunters (1962)

“She frowned at me. "You need some rest. You look like hell. And you're obviously tired enough to have gotten the giggles."

Wizards don't giggle," I said, hardly able to speak. "This is cackling.”

Jim Butcher book Changes

Source: Changes

“The things that were said about me. … You know what, I wanted to hit a couple of those speakers so hard. … I was gonna hit one guy in particular, a very little guy. I was gonna hit this guy so hard, his head would spin. He wouldn't know what the hell happened.”

Donald J. Trump (1946) 45th President of the United States of America

Press conference, reported in Jacob Bogage, " ‘I wanted to hit a couple of those speakers so hard', Trump says of Democratic convention https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/07/29/i-wanted-to-hit-a-couple-of-those-speakers-so-hard-trump-says-of-dem-convention-critics/", The Washington Post (July 29, 2016).
2010s, 2016, July

“I tell you, I'd be lucky to hit.280 in New York. There are too many people in New York, and if you don't want to be a bad guy, you must go to all the dinners and meetings. How could I concentrate on baseball? I have so many good friends in New York that it is hard to turn them down. But it is that way every place on the road. I tell the hotel that I will not be disturb, [sic] but people find me anyway.”

Roberto Clemente (1934–1972) Puerto Rican baseball player

Speaking after the 1972 NLCS, as quoted in "Puerto Rico Has Lost a Hero"
Baseball-related, <big><big>1970s</big></big>, <big>1972</big>

“I can feel the heat closing in, feel them out there making their moves, setting up their devil doll stool pigeons, crooning over my spoon and dropper I throw away at Washington Square Station, vault a turnstile and two flights down the iron stairs, catch an uptown A train…”

William S. Burroughs book Naked Lunch

Opening Chapter
Naked Lunch (1959)

“I need a new friend. I need a friend, period. Not a true friend, nothing close or share clothes or sleepover giggle giggle yak yak. Just a pseudo-friend, disposable friend. Friend as accessory. Just so I don't feel or look so stupid.”

Laurie Halse Anderson Speak

Source: Speak

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Emo Philips 33

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