“I remember the last time we were in the studio that Nick (Mason) ripped this fart. It was one of the most atrocious things the others had ever smelled in their lives. While Roger and Rick fled in terror, I asked Nick for seconds.”

“Remember, Nick, there are only two people in the universe I care for…and you’re not one of them. (Savitar)”

“You can’t buy time, Nick. Ever. It’s the only thing in life you can’t get most of, and it’s the one thing that will mercilessly tear you up when it’s gone. It takes no pity on no soul and no heart.”

“Nick: I've also found someone to take an option on the photographs.
Mrs Prentice: What photographs?
Nick: I had a camera concealed in the room.
Mrs Prentice: When I gave myself to you the contract didn't include cinematic rights.
Nick: I'd like a hundred quid for the negatives. You've got until lunchtime.
Mrs Prentice: I shall complain to the manager.
Nick: It will do you no good. He took the photographs.
Mrs. Prentice: Oh, this is scandalous! I'm a married woman.
Nick: You didn't behave like a married woman last night.”

“Where am I? (Nick)
Hospital. (Kyrian)
Really? No kidding? And here I thought I was at McDonald’s. (Nick)”

“"Jolly old St. Nick!*" (Nick Swisher and Nick Johnson)”

“I agree with Nick.”

“Mrs. Prentice: Are you Geraldine Barclay?
Nick: Yes.
Mrs. Prentice: Where have you been?
Nick: I've been attending to the thousand and one duties that occupy the average secretary during her working hours.
Mrs Prentice: It doesn't take the whole morning to file your nails, surely?
Nick: I had to lie down. I was sick.
Mrs. Prentice: Are you pregnant?
Nick: I can't discuss my employer's business with you.”

“Nick Machiavel had ne'er a trick,
Though he gave his name to our Old Nick.”

“Are you sure I can’t catch it? (Nick)
I’m positive. Believe me, I know my zombies. (Bubba)
(Nick scoffed.) ‘Is it just me or is that like saying I know my elves and fairies?’ (Nick)”