“To an asshole, the whole world looks dark.”

“WHAT'S WRONG WITH ASSHOLES, BABY? YOU'VE GOT AN ASSHOLE, I'VE GOT AN ASSHOLE! YOU GO TO THE STORE AND BUY A PORTERHOUSE STEAK, THAT HAD AN ASSHOLE! ASSHOLES COVER THE EARTH! IN A WAY TREES HAVE ASSHOLES BUT YOU CAN'T FIND THEM, THEY JUST DROP THEIR LEAVES. YOUR ASSHOLE, MY ASSHOLE, THE WORLD IS FULL OF BILLIONS OF ASSHOLES. THE PRESIDENT HAS AN ASSHOLE, THE CARWASH BOY HAS AN ASSHOLE, THE JUDGE AND THE MURDERER HAVE ASSHOLES... EVEN THE PURPLE STICKINPIN HAS AN ASSHOLE!”

“Remember how, back in 1990, if you used a cellphone in public you looked like a total asshole? We're all assholes now.”

“What kind of assholes bring a kid into worlds like these?”

“You can not make yourself whole again by brooding one hundred percent of the time on the darkness of the world. We are the light of the world.”

“In this wicked and selfish world, with no essential values… being asshole is self-defense.”

“The world's big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.”

“If you only take one piece of advice from this OK, please sincerely – don’t be an asshole your whole life.”

“The world is divided by two different tribes. The people who are assholes and the people who are not.”

“The best colour in the whole world is the one that looks good on you.”