“I hav studdyed mi own karakter, and mi own impulses for 39 years clussly, and i kant tell to day (to save a bet) whether i am an honest and trew man or not--if thare iz enny boddy who knows about this matter i wish they would address me a letter, enklosing a postage blister.”

Josh Billings: His Works, Complete (1873)

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Josh Billings 91
American humorist 1818–1885

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“It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days.”

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“Tell me to whom you are addressing yourself when you say that.
I am addressing myself—I am addressing myself to my cap.”

[J]e veux que tu me dises à qui lu parles quand lu dis cela.
Je parle... je parle à mon bonnet.
Act I, scene iii
L'Avare (1668)

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