“If I catch my opponents ever sleepin', I'll just slaughter 'em where they lie.”

“Gee, I've been asked hundreds of questions about that catch in the first game of the World Series. The one that Vic Wertz hit for Cleveland. Was it my best catch? How did I play it? Honestly, I don't rate 'em—I just try to catch 'em. When he hit the ball, I just started toward the place it was heading. And I got there.”

“It's my lie and I believe in it
It's my lie and I wanted it
It's my bed and I'll bleed in it
It's my bed, and I'll lie
And I sit on the corner
And I drink drown soda
I wanna bomb the whole state of Minnesota”

“I'll catch you angel, i'll always catch you.”

“I'm the one who will not raise taxes. My opponent now says he'll raise them as a last resort, or a third resort. But when a politician talks like that, you know that's one resort he'll be checking into. My opponent, my opponent won't rule out raising taxes. But I will. And The Congress will push me to raise taxes and I'll say no. And they'll push, and I'll say no, and they'll push again, and I'll say, to them, "Read my lips: no new taxes."”

“I'm not going to throw my imagination away. I refuse to lie down to expectation. If I can just hold out till I'm thirty, I'll be incredible.”

“I know it's wrong - God, it's all kinds of wrong - but I just want to lie down with you and wake up with you, just once, just once ever in my life.”

“A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em — they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.”

“(To a football player) If you lie to me, I'll mop the floor with you worse than anyone who's ever tackled you.”

“I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth!”