“If you don't want a little moisture on the mattress, maybe you shouldn't have gone to the bar.”

“If you don't have something you think you need, maybe it's because God wants you to see something you've never seen.”

“… It's hard to make changes. Things get so comfortable and you don't want to move. Maybe it would do you good to be a little uncomfortable for a while, and do something different…”

“Emma is a mattress who got thrown off the truck when her parents split up. It's not like you can blame a mattress when people don't tie it down tight enough.”

“Maybe you don't just have one Goliath. Maybe you have his whole family!”

“You shouldn't want to be the head.”

“You shouldn't be able to be alive and you are. You want to trade?”

“Stay a little while longer, and let everyone congratulate you - including the ones who clearly don't want to: in fact, especially the ones who clearly don't want to. You don't have to say anything but 'thank you”

“I don't want to be a writer so I can write about my life. I want to be a writer to escape from it.

+ Then you shouldn't be a writer.”

“When you get everything you wanted, I think maybe you do have to be a little grateful for the people who got you there… whether or not they thought they were doing you any favors at the time.”