“Bessie Braddock: Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk.
Churchill: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and, what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”
Churchill's bodyguard Ronald Golding claims that he witnessed Churchill say this in 1946 to Labour MP w:Bessie Braddock. Golding's claim, made to Churchill expert Richard Langworth, was reported in Langworth's collection Churchill by himself https://books.google.com/books?id=vbsU21fEhLAC&q=braddock#v=snippet&q=braddock&f=false. Langworth adds that Churchill's daughter Lady Soames doubted the story.
The basic idea of this joke was published as early as 1882, although it was used to ridicule the critic's foolishness rather than ugliness: " ... are you Mr. —-, the greatest fool in the House of Commons?" "You are drunk," exclaimed the M.P. "Even if I am,” replied the man, "I have the advantage over you – I shall be sober to-morrow, whereas you will remain the fool you are to-day." (1882 August 05, The Daily Republican-Sentinel, His Advantage, p. 5, col. 2, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, cited by Quote Investigator http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/08/17/sober-tomorrow/).
Reported as false by George Thayer, The Washington Post (April 27, 1971), p. B6.
Often given in a shorter form, e.g " Winston, you are drunk." "Indeed, Madam, and you are ugly—but tomorrow I'll be sober."
Churchill's interlocutor may be given as Lady Astor rather than Braddock.
Disputed
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Winston S. Churchill 601
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1874–1965Related quotes
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!”
From a set of "rules for life" sent to publisher Charles Scribner IV; quoted in Scribner's memoir In the Company of Writers (New York: Scribner, 1991), p. 64 https://books.google.com/books?id=yYdHGtlgIsYC&pg=PA64&dq=hemingway+%22rules+for+life%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj-zvyfgNDMAhUJ_mMKHU6zDrYQ6AEIIzAB#v=onepage&q=%20%22rules%20for%20life%22&f=false
As recorded in filmed interview http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsfYAJ3dQyY&feature=player_embedded (1979) with Dylan Taite in Aotearoa, New Zealand
The people who are trying to make this world worse aren't taking a day off. How can I?
“Oons, sir! do you say that I am drunk? I say, sir, that I am as sober as a judge.”
Don Quixote in England (1731), Act III, scene xiv
“In the middle of a crazy and drunk life, you have to hang onto the good and sober moments tightly.”
Source: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian