“My mother won't drive 50 miles an hour. You put her in a rental car, she's doing doughnuts in the grocery store parking lot!”

—  Jeff Foxworthy

Have Your Loved Ones Spayed and Neutered (2004)

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

Help us to complete the source, original and additional information

Do you have more details about the quote "My mother won't drive 50 miles an hour. You put her in a rental car, she's doing doughnuts in the grocery store parking…" by Jeff Foxworthy?
Jeff Foxworthy photo
Jeff Foxworthy31
American stand-up comedian 1958

Related quotes

“Yet you would not drive a car with your mouth unless you are my mother-in-law.”

Jean-Louis Gassée (1944) French businessman

NetWorker, November/December 1996
Commenting on the gestures vs. speech debate in computing.

“Did I hurt you in the parking lot?"
"No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car."
Great.”

Ilona Andrews American husband-and-wife novelist duo

Source: Fate's Edge

Dave Eggers photo

“Every time my brain parks the car neatly in the driveway, my mouth drives through the back of the garage.”

Dave Eggers book The Circle

Source: The Circle

“I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.”

Jennifer Crusie book Bet Me

Source: Bet Me

“Do you work at the grocery store? Then why are you checking me out?”

Lisi Harrison (1970) Canadian writer

Source: Best Friends for Never

Barney Frank photo

“There are a lot of ways to mispronounce my name. That is the least common […] I checked with my mother. In 50 years no one's ever called her "Elsie Fag."”

Barney Frank (1940) American politician, former member of the House of Representatives for Massachusetts

Responding to Dick Armey's referring to him as "Barney Fag", unidentified publication/date
Quoted in [Solomon, John, 1 November 1998, http://www.sollyonline.com/content.cfm?copy=article&header=portfolio&portfolio=yes&SID=27, "America's Funniest Politicians", George, Solly Online, 2008-03-05]

Steven Wright photo

“I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.”

Steven Wright (1955) American actor and author

Dave Barry photo

“What Dad means by "see" of course, is "drive past at 67 miles per hour." Dad feels it is a foolish waste of valuable vacation time to get out of the car and actually go look at an attraction.”

Dave Barry (1947) American writer

Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (1991)

Nassim Nicholas Taleb photo

“They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called “work” in a box, where they sit in their cubicle box; they drive to the grocery store in a box to buy food in a box; they talk about thinking “outside the box”; and when they die they are put in a box.”

Nassim Nicholas Taleb book The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms

Source: The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms (2010), p. 31

Related topics