“One has to be able to count, if only so that at fifty one doesn't marry a girl of twenty.”

“I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.”

“One truth we have been able to count on concerning scientific persuit over the centuries has been that only testable theories survive the intense scrutiny of experimental science.”

“Lake Wobegon, where smart doesn't count for so much. A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.”

“How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born.”

“Between a man and a woman both aged fifty there are two full generations, for she might well wed a man in his seventies, and he a girl of twenty.”

“When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one.”

“The girl I find who wants to talk about quantum theory in a bar is the one I want to marry.”

“That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.”

“I don't count my sit-ups; I only start counting when it starts hurting because they’re the only ones that count.”