“You must be a bastard for I knew your mother's husband and he was a gentleman and honest man.”

“To a gentleman, who, at the close of a fierce dispute with Porson, exclaimed, "My opinion of you is most contemptible, Sir"; he retorted, "I never knew an opinion of yours that was not contemptible."”

Richard Porson (1759–1808) British classical scholar

“I think it's your own choice if you turn from an angry young man to a bitter, old bastard.”

Billie Joe Armstrong (1972) American singer and guitarist

“An English gentleman never shines his shoes, but then nor does a lazy bastard.”

Will Self (1961) English writer and journalist

“You're a hero and a gentleman, you're kind and honest, but more than that, you're the first man I ever truly loved. And no matter what the future brings, you always will be, and I know that my life is better for it.”

Nicholas Sparks book Dear John

“I found a man who claimed he used to be a radio engineer. And if he was an engineer, I was Albert Einstein’s mother, but at least he knew which end of a soldering iron was hot.”

Frederik Pohl (1919–2013) American science fiction writer and editor

“You must not suppose, because I am a man of letters, that I never tried to earn an honest living.”

George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) Irish playwright

“That man is such a damn turd monkey."
"Grandma!" I said.
"Oh, Zoeybird, did I call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey out loud?"
"Yes, Grandma, you did."
She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. "Good.”

Kristin Cast book Chosen

“Many a man isn't as good as his woman, but I never knew a husband who was better than his wife.”

Orson Scott Card book Saints

“That man is such a damn turd monkey."
"Grandma!" I said.
"Oh, Zoeybird, did I just call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey out loud?"
"Yes, Grandma, you did."
She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. "Good.”

P. C. Cast (1960) American writer