“It's a bird … it's a plane … no, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue. Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat …”

Source: Reinventing Gravity (2008), Chapter 6, Inflation And Variable Speed Of Light (VSL), p. 102

Variant: Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Source: Mostly Harmless

Source: The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Liza Minelli, interviewed by Gene Shalit in the September 1977 issue of The Ladies Home Journal, as quoted in "Women in the News," https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=yXMjAAAAIBAJ&sjid=a2cEAAAAIBAJ&pg=5851%2C3647577 in The Sarasota Herald-Tribune (August 24, 1977), p. 6-D
Variant: But I'd rather be a first-rate version of myself than a second-rate version of somebody else.
Context: I don't sing them because I couldn't sing them as well as she did. I'd rather be a first-rate version of myself than a second-rate version of anybody.

Liza Minelli, as quoted in I Remember It Well (1975) by Vincente Minelli with Hector Arce, p. 395 https://books.google.com/books?id=D6jDtmiJCpkC&q=minelli+%22second-rate%22+%22first-rate+version%22&dq=minelli+%22second-rate%22+%22first-rate+version%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCoQ6AEwBGoVChMI0on3sqjdxgIVxHg-Ch1NhwVD; reprinted in "Judy and Liza, Part 3" https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=CfpjAAAAIBAJ&sjid=WuYDAAAAIBAJ&pg=7188%2C5401411 by Vincente Minelli, in The Sydney Herald (August 15, 1975), p. 8
Context: I couldn't sing Mama's special songs. I couldn't do them as well. I would rather present a first-rate version of myself than a second-rate version of Mama.

"Little Tornado"
Song lyrics, @#%&*! Smilers (2008)

Source: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close