“I do like girls as friends, but definitely not as girlfriends. Bleurgh! Lots of girls try to hug me and tell me I'm cute, which is really embarrassing.”

“I think it was born out of that grade school fantasy that a lot of nerds like me had, which was "I could probably get the cute red-headed girl that sits across from me, if only every other boy in the entire school dies."”

“My serve used to be a weakness and I don't think it's a weakness anymore. I'm trying to come a lot more to the net and trying to be more offensive — not in terms of hitting the ball harder, which I think is quite hard for me to hit it any harder than I do — but in terms of building the point and coming to the net and being offensive at the net. A lot of the top girls barely do (come to net) except like Mauresmo or Henin does it a little bit, but a lot of girls don't do it.”

“Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.”

“And make sure you tell daddy
That I'm still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
But don't forget to remember me”

“Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
he liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.”

“People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.”

“I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing '80s cover tunes on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend.”

“You're drunk, and I'm drunk, and I'm just exactly drunk enough to tell you anything you want to know. That's the kind of girl I am. If I like a person, I'll tell them anything they want to know. Just ask me. Go ahead, ask me.”

“He looks at me in such a way that I know for sure-he's never looked at another girl quite like this.
And the I'm in his arms, and we're hugging and kissing, and we're both shaking, because we both know-this is the night we become real.”