“I'm beginning to feel like a microwaved egg that will explode if anybody so much as breathes onto the surface.”

— Douglas Coupland , book Shampoo Planet

Shampoo Planet (1992)

Adopted from Wikiquote. Last update June 3, 2021. History

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Douglas Coupland 193

Canadian novelist, short story writer, playwright, and grap… 1961

Maureen Lipman (1946) British actress, columnist and comedienne

Something to Fall Back on

“My Saturday Night. My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with.”

Michael Chabon book The Yiddish Policemen's Union

Source: The Yiddish Policemen's Union

“That's the trouble with caring about anybody, you begin to feel overprotective. Then you begin to feel crowded.”

John Updike book Rabbit Redux

Source: Rabbit Redux

“So much love, too much love, it is our madness, it is rotting us out, exploding us like dandelion polls.”

John Updike (1932–2009) American novelist, poet, short story writer, art critic, and literary critic

“I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God”

Eminem (1972) American rapper and actor

"Rap God"
2010s, The Marshall Mathers LP 2 (2013)

“Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope”

Yip Harburg (1896–1981) American song lyricist

"Optimistic Voices".
Context: You’re out of the woods
You’re out of the dark
You’re out of the night
Step into the sun, step into the light,
Keep straight ahead
For the most glorious place
On the Face of the Earth
Or the sky. Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope,
March up to the gate
And bid it open.

“It always bothers me to see people writing 'RIP' when a person dies. It just feels so insincere and like a cop-out. To me, 'RIP' is the microwave dinner of posthumous honors.”

Lou Reed (1942–2013) American musician

Attributed posthumously in social media, but actually a hoax originating from Twitter "Hoax Lou Reed quote fools Twitter (and most of the rest of the internet)", http://en4news.com/2013/10/28/hoax-lou-reed-quote-fools-twitter-and-most-of-the-rest-of-the-internet/ EN4 News, 28 October 2013
Misattributed

“I feel like a carton of eggs holding up an elephant.”

Sherman Alexie (1966) Native American author and filmmaker

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”

Terry Pratchett book Lords and Ladies

Source: Lords and Ladies

“Civilized life begins with a boiled egg sitting upright in an egg cup.”

Judith Martin (1938) American etiquette expert

Miss Manners column "Egg On Their Face", June 19, 2005

“I'm beginning to feel like a microwaved egg that will explode if anybody so much as breathes onto the surface.”

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Douglas Coupland 193

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