“I know two kinds of audience only – one coughing, and one not coughing.”

“(after coughing) …and then you cough and die.”

Dylan Moran (1971) Irish actor and comedian

“I was in the airport and there were these big snowboarder guys and they had white masks around their necks, and as soon as they saw me, they put their masks on. So I just went, "*cough, cough, cough* You wanna egg rorr?"”

Margaret Cho (1968) American stand-up comedian

“He laughed, tried to make it into a cough, inhaled at exactly the wrong moment, and then really did cough.”

Robin McKinley (1952) American fantasy writer

“As it has been said:
Love and a cough
cannot be concealed.
Even a small cough.
Even a small love.”

Anne Sexton (1928–1974) poet from the United States

“I do not cough for my own amusement.”

Jane Austen book Pride and Prejudice

“It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.”

P.G. Wodehouse (1881–1975) English author

“(after coughing) Excuse me. I have a touch of everything.”

Dylan Moran (1971) Irish actor and comedian

“It is said that love and a cough cannot be hid.”

Dorothy L. Sayers book Gaudy Night

“49. Love and a cough cannot be hid.”

George Herbert (1593–1633) Welsh-born English poet, orator and Anglican priest