“(Television) With men or boys at home, your bathroom needs cleaning every day. (Sylvia) Not if you bolt the door.”

“Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.”

“(Television) There's a special feeling about being a woman. You do so much for everyone around you. But some days (Sylvia) You realize you've been had.”

“You need your family in this business. It's one of the most important things to keep you grounded. You come home and your mom's like, "Clean the kitty's litter box."”

“Everybody needs a seashell in her bathroom to remind her the ocean is her home.”

“You don't need to show off your body to catch a boy's eye. You'd best learn that early on, or you'll be bringing home the worst sort of boy.”

“(Man on television) Man is the hunter. Woman is the civilizing influence, and when women abandon that role, men become (Sylvia) Cranky, and start wars.”

“(Television) Men are naturally more aggressive than women. (Sylvia) All the more reason to keep them locked up after dark.”

“(Voice on television) Honey, I love you, but I got to be moving on. (Sylvia) Break his kneecaps.”

“(Sylvia at typewriter) For feminine protection, every day use a hand grenade.”