“[after drunkenly getting his ear pierced]
I said, "It wasn't my fault, it was Captain Morgan!" And [my wife] goes, "Oh, kinda like Jose Cuervo made you ride the floor buffer?"”

“Oh captain my captain”

“Cause my wife gets up and goes shopping.”

“If you keep wiggling, things might get uncomfortable,” he said into my ear, his voice like a caress. “I’m doing my best, but thinking about baseball only takes you so far.” I froze.”

“I had an accident."

"That seemes to happen a lot."

"It wasn't my fault."

"It never is."

"I just have bad luck."

"Or you're just trouble."

"You got a problem with that?"

"No problem at all."

"Oh my God! Are you going to help or not?”

“Mullah Faizullah: It wasn't your fault, Mariam. Don't think this way. This will destroy you, my girl. It wasn't your fault.”

“Oh my son's my son till he gets a wife,
But my daughter's my daughter all her life.”

“Yes!" Narissus unslung his bow and grabbed an arrow from his dusty quiver. "The first one who get that bronze, I will like youas much as I like me. I might even kiss you, right after I kiss my reflection!"

"Oh my gods!" the nymphs squealed.”

“Meg, I give you your faults."

"My faults!" Meg cried.

"Your faults."

"But I'm always trying to get rid of my faults!"

"Yes," Mrs. Whatsit said. "However, I think you'll find they'll come in very handy on Camazotz.”

“I'm glad you're better," he said. His mouth sounded like it was almost in my hair, just above my my ear. "When I saw you fall…"
"You thought, 'Wow, she's a loser.”