“I would rather eat a golf ball than see this movie again.”

“I'd rather eat nothing than eat a carrot.”

“I would never see a good movie for the first time on television.”

“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose”

“And the wind shall say: "Here were decent godless people:
Their only monument the asphalt road
And a thousand lost golf balls."”

“I'd rather have Prada shoes than eat.”

“Ball is made of leather, leather comes from cows, cows eat grass, and there is where the ball must be.”

“I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.”

“You got to believe in the ball, and throw your self. (Not Another Teen Movie)”

“He's German so he's Herr Ball. Herr Ball. His movies are so bad, cats choke when they hear his name.”