“How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?”

“When the pig saw what he [the wolf] was about, he hung on a pot full of water, and made a blazing fire…and in fell the wolf…”

“The little pig began to pray
But Wolfie blew his house away.
He shouted, "Bacon, Pork, and Ham!
Oh what a lucky wolf I am!"
And though he ate the pig quite fast,
He carefully kept the tail till last.”

“Now, after the concert, y'all are going to want to pig out. But you don't want to say you're going to go pig out. So one of you is come up to the other and say, "How about a little fellowship?"”

“The odd thing about people who had many books was how they always wanted more.”

“Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?”

“I am the Disreputable Dog. Or Disreputable Bitch, if you want to get technical. When are we going for a walk?”

“Nay, number (itself) in armies, importeth not much, where the people is of weak courage; for (as Virgil saith) it never troubles the wolf how many the sheep be.”

“You want to know about anybody? See what books they read, and how they've been read…”

“Read like a wolf eats.”