“My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.”

“Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.”

“The telling of jokes is an art of its own, and it always rises from some emotional threat. The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.”

“It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells.”

“The jokes of the gods are long in the telling.”

“Joking is a barrier between man and the world. Joking is the enemy of love and poetry.”

“Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.”

“I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.”

“Vegans tell corny jokes, not cheesy ones.”

“Our world will not die as the result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, or making a joke of everything, and a lousy joke at that.”