“The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam.”
“Itcome sometimes to ‘jam to-day,’” Alice objected.
“No, it ca’n’t,” said the Queen. “It’s jam everyday: to-day isn’t anyday, you know”

“It is a parable of pure capitalism, never jam today and a case of jam tomorrow; but as any of the Smiths will tell you, anyone who has ever sold IBM has regretted it.”

“There are no traffic jams on the extra mile.”

“What I am
is tired of jam.”

“Man invented the car to comfortably sit in jams.”

“They continue to be the rage. The salon where they are is jammed with people.”

“My birthplace is Jam, and my pen
Has drunk from (knowledge of) Sheikh-ul-Islam Ahmad Jam,
Hence in the books of poetry
My pen nam is Jami for these two reasons.”

“The day was wet, the rain fell souse
Like jars of strawberry jam, a
sound was heard in the old henhouse,
A beating of a hammer.”

“So then God created the world, and on the first day he created light and air and fish and jam and soup and potatoes and haircuts and arguments and small things and rabbits and people with noses and jam – more jam, perhaps – and soot and flies and tobogganing and showers and toasters and grandmothers and, uh … Belgium. And the second day he created fire and water and eggnog and radiators and lights and Burma and things that go "urh" and … and Colonel Gaddafi and Arthur Negus. On the third day he probably got lists and said, "I can't remember what I've invented now. I've just been ad-libbing so far."”

“I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head.”