“In the middle of a crazy and drunk life, you have to hang onto the good and sober moments tightly.”

“Sometimes I write drunk and revise sober, and sometimes I write sober and revise drunk. But you have to have both elements in creation — the Apollonian and the Dionysian, or spontaneity and restraint, emotion and discipline.”

“Write drunk, edit sober.”

“It always falls on the sober to pay for the sins of the drunk.”

“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.”

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!”

“In actual fact, no man is honest when sober; in actual fact, you cannot believe a single word that a sober man says. I wish I were drunk myself.”

“Yes, but the people would prefer John A. drunk to George Brown sober.”

“A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”

“Oons, sir! do you say that I am drunk? I say, sir, that I am as sober as a judge.”