“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”

“Like a flame is real enough, isn't it, while it's burning?-even if there's a time it goes out?”

“For behold, the day is coming,
Burning like an oven”

“Each experience in your lifewas absolutely necessary in order to have gotten you to the next place, and the next place, up to this very moment.”

“The acquisition of Canada this year, as far as the neighborhood of Quebec, will be a mere matter of marching, and will give us experience for the attack of Halifax the next, and the final expulsion of England from the American continent.”

“You and your oven are capable of great things,
Remember, no two ovens are the same.”

“When one has a religious experience, what is “true” is only that one has had that experience, not that its contents convey anything about reality.”

“This is I have to admit, one murky compartment of the female psyche which has yet to benefit from the oven-scourer of Reason.”

“Oh, the tragedy and the anguish. You just gotta Rage Against the Appliance, man. The toast is burning and you just gotta rip it out and free it before it fills the house with smoke. Rage Against the Toaster.”

“That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness-and life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same.”