“Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don't drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor's yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.”

“Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies.”

“Donald Trump is treating the press corps like it's a puppy that you whack on the nose with a newspaper when it pees on the floor.”

“You want safe? Find a nice puppy you can train to come heel. Love's supposed to be scary. Because if there's no fear, there's no thrill.”

“He looked as though I'd just run over his pet puppy (though no actual puppies were harmed in the formation of that metaphor).”

“Bringing children into it was just low, I decided. At least heʹd left puppies out.”

“If you like what you are writing, just write. Try to keep going before you stop to take a break. Keep going back before too much time has passed. And just stay with it.”

“Never slam a car door. According to the Westchester elite, it's a heinous crime, as heartless as kicking a puppy.”

“Whoever said you can't buy Happiness forgot little puppies.”

“Man has no moral instinct. He is not born with moral sense. You were not born with it, I was not - and a puppy has none. We acquire moral sense, when we do, through training, experience, and hard sweat of the mind.”