“There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.”

“In Ankh-Morpork you can be whoever you want to be and sometimes people laugh and sometimes they clap, and mostly and beautifully, they don't really care.”

“I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It's generally a better bet. There's more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say "it was god's will" when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow.”

“After all, the wrong road always leads somewhere.”

“To oppose something is to maintain it.
They say here “all roads lead to Mishnory.” To be sure, if you turn your back on Mishnory and walk away from it, you are still on the Mishnory road. To oppose vulgarity is inevitably to be vulgar. You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk a different road.”

“At Christmas, all roads lead home.”

“All roads lead to my dogs, don't they?”

“A wrong turn doesn't end the journey. If you feel lost, just look at your map and get back on the road. The map will always lead you in the right direction.”

“All roads alike may lead us unto Rome.”

“If the road is easy, you're likely going the wrong way.”