“Okay," Juke said. "Your horse is a donkey, your poodle is a giant wolf breed, and your boyfriend is whatever the hell he is. You have problems.”

“Who gets the change?" the clerk asked. "You or… your fella?"
Oh, he's not my boyfriend," I said. "He's my mother.”

“It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal.”

“You can’t really yell at your boyfriend for stealing your seat and your best friend. You also can’t yell at your best friend for stealing your boyfriend. Or you can…but Hi seemed like a much easier way to start the morning.”

“One of Renee's friends asked her, "Does your boyfriend wear glasses?" She said, "No, he wears a Walkman.”

“You spoil your horse, Halt said.
Will glanced at him. You spoil yours.
Halt considered the thought, then nodded. That's true.”

“I have two rules in life - to hell with it, whatever it is, and get your work done.”

“You have not stirred my spirit. For what can I see in you to stir me, as a spirited horse will stir a judge of horses? Your body? That you maltreat. Your dress? That is luxurious. Your behavior, your look?—Nothing whatsoever.”

“Your boyfriend's dead. Thought you should know.”

“"Mulla, I want to borrow your donkey."
"I am sorry," said the Mulla, "but I have already lent it out."
As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasrudin's stable.
"But Mulla, I can hear the donkey, in there!"
As he shut the door in the man's face, Nasrudin said, with dignity, "A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything."”