“The only advice I can give to aspiring writers is don't do it unless you're willing to give your whole life to it. Red wine and garlic also helps.”

“People ask what gives me the authority to give advice? I say, First of all, I don't give advice. Dr Phil gives advice. Mr T helps people. I motivate them, I inspire them, I give them hope, and I plant the seed so they can feel good about themselves.”

“If I had to give young writers advice, I would say don't listen to writers talking about writing or themselves.”

“In giving advice seek to help, not to please, your friend.”

“People think they follow advice but they don't. Humans are only capable of receiving information. They create their own advice. If you seek to influence someone, don't waste time giving advice. You can change only what people know, not what they do.”

“Avoid taking advice from someone who gives advice for a living, unless there is a penalty for their advice.”

“The advice I would give is: If you have the courage to do so, don't feel patriotic in monetary matters. Choose the money which helps you best.”

“The first duty of wine is to be red. Don't talk to me of your white wines.”

“I cannot properly give advice to anybody. It is very often supposed Judges can give advice, and I therefore take this public opportunity of saying that a Judge cannot do it.”

“I am not sure I trust you."
"You can trust me with your life, My King."
"But not with my wine, obviously. Give it back.”