“Besides, I could hardly complain to the administration that I was being forced to learn magic.”

one which piled bureau on bureau, commission on commission, and has failed to anticipate the dire needs or reduced earning power of the people. Bureaus and bureaucrats have been retained at the expense of the taxpayer. We are spending altogether too much money for government services which are neither practical nor necessary. In addition to this, we are attempting too many functions and we need a simplification of what the Federal government is giving the people."
"Campaign Address on Agriculture and Tariffs at w:Sioux City, Iowa (29 September 1932)
1930s

Not found in Twain's works, this was attributed to him in Reader's Digest (September 1939): no prior attribution known. Mark Twain’s father died when Twain was eleven years old.
Disputed
Variant: When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Source: The Sirens of Titan (1959), Chapter 2 “Cheers in the Wirehouse” (p. 45; epigram)

Source: Jewels of the Sun

After the Revolution? (1970; 1990), Ch. 4 : From Principles to Problems

John Banville: claiming Kafka as an Irish writer (2011)

Teaching as a Subversive Activity (1969)
Context: Conventional "requirements" …are systems of prescriptions and proscriptions intended solely to limit the physical and intellectual movements of students — to "keep them in line, in sequence, in order," etc. They shift focus of attention from the learner (check [Goodwin] Watson again) to the "course." In the process, "requirements" violate virtually everything we know about learning because they comprise the matrix of an elaborate system of punishment, that in turn, comprise a threatening atmosphere in which positive learning cannot occur. The "requirements," indeed, force the teacher — and administrator — into the role of an authoritarian functionary whose primary task becomes that of enforcing the requirements rather than helping the learner to learn. The whole authority of the system is contingent upon the "requirements."

Initially attributed to Cyrus S. Ching in Time, Vol. 56 (1950), p. 21.
Misattributed
Variant: Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

Source: Apocalypse