“You just click your heels and think there's no place like being pwned.”

“It's true. It's like the hidden secret that no one tells you. we can all be beautiful girls, Colie. it's so easy. it's like Dorothy clicking her heels to go home. You could do it all along.”

“And for one second, it was like I could feel the timing clicking together, finally pieces falling into place.”

“It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.”

“This is what being alive feels like, you know? The place doesn't matter. You just live.”

“Don't you retards think before you click "Send" that maybe someone on the other end is actually going to read your stupid, malformed emails some day? It's almost like there's a record full of incomprehensible bullshit playing in your mind 24/7, and you put the needle down randomly and whatever it picks up, you just type it up in an email and shoot it off to me, usually mid-sentence.”

“You mean a bad heel?" I said. "Couldn't I just, like, wear something besides sandals? No offense."
-Percy”

“To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'.”

“I think being a woman is like being Irish… Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same.”

“I don’t think you know what it’s like to have someone head over heels in love with you. What’s the good of a man who’s upside down?”