“Thank Artemis, it is you! That little scar on your lip--you tried to eat a stapler when you were two!"
…
Hedge nodded like he approved of Jason's taste. "Staplers--excellent source of iron.”

“Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?”

“My English teacher wanted to flunk me in Junior High(Damn)…thanks a lot, next semester I'll be 35…I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler and told him to change the grade on the paper.”

“I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.”

“With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic, I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic”

“Love is like cigarettes. It gives you a little pleasure while you're at it, but leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your chest.”

“Yes," answered Sara, nodding. "Adversity tries people, and mine has tried you and proved how nice you are.”

“By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?'
'You can call me whatever you like.'
Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.”

“So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.'
'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.”

“The saddest kind of sad is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know, when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and smile and go, "No, I'm happy for you?"”